The 5 Stages of Summer Vacation

I don’t know about you guys, but I am knee deep in summer vacation. By summer vacation, I mean longer days, a messier house, more chores, and YES, bored children. I was totally looking forward to this “relaxed”, unscheduled, easy-breezy time with my sweet babes. Who can relate to these 5 stages of summer?

Excitement – usually occurs around April / May. The feeling of freedom is so close you can almost taste it. No more rushed mornings, packing lunches and backpacks. No more outfit picking. Screw it, just wear what you had on yesterday. Three months of freedom from class parties and special school days. I’m not brushing your hair, I’m not even brushing my hair! Sweet, sweet summer, please hurry.

Planning– begins around the last two weeks of May. This summer I’m going to be super engaged. Like enjoying every moment of my sweet babies. We are going to read at least 4 books every day, maybe like 10 books. We are going to do educational activities all the time. Wait, I have to start a Pinterest board. I’m going to be such a cool, relaxed, engaged, patient, educational mom this summer. Basically, I’m going to be a unicorn mom.

Panic– the first week of summer. Why are my kids still up at 6 am? Why aren’t they interested in my educational activities? Why won’t they stop fighting? Why aren’t they tired? We have been in the pool for hours. I’m waterlogged and exhausted. How am I going to survive 3 months of this shit?

Stir Crazy– basically all of June, July and most of August. I can’t get anything done. These children have driven me to insanity. We have crafted our faces off, and I’m positive I’ll never completely rid my house of glitter. All activities are exhausted and supplies are depleting. If I make one more “art sandwich” I’m going off the deep end. Now I know why Van Gogh cut his ear off, he tried to occupy children all summer.

Relief– close to the end of August. Summer is almost over. Everyone is alive and intact. Thank god, in a few weeks I’ll ship their cute little asses back to school and dance. We have to go shopping for school clothes! New shoes, new bows, I’m so excited. I’m going to volunteer at school a lot more this year. O, I’m also going to make super cute lunches every day! I’m going to write lunchbox notes, and be room mom, and stage mom. Basically, I’m going to be super mom! Yes, this is going to be the best school year ever!!