The Breast of the Story

I belong to one of those neighborhood websites, as I’m sure a lot of you do. Well since I’ve been reading, The life-changing magic of tidying up, by Marie Kondo (you have to read this) my house has been in a state of constant purge. We are also undergoing a decent size home renovation that is fueling the purge as well. So, I’ve been selling lots of stuff on my neighborhood website. It’s cool because I make a couple bucks, and have meet some of my awesome neighbors. It’s actually been a very pleasant experience, until yesterday.
I’m not new to internet trolls. Rude people with rude comments about just about everything. I expect them on my blog comments, thus approval process. I see them on Facebook and such. I never expected a troll on a sales post, but here she was.

Image result for ugly trolls
I’m selling my baby things, it’s sentimental for me, a little heart wrenching. I busted out the big tan tote at the bottom of the guest room closet and cried a little. This time I wasn’t getting the tote out because I was pregnant. The thought of a new mommy taking these things made me smile again. Maybe I would even get to see her big belly when she picked them up. At the bottom was a breast pump I had totally forgotten about. Long story short, I had panicked when my insurance company issued breast pump broke a few days into use, and bought another on Amazon. My insurance company then overnighted me a replacement, so I meant to return the Amazon shipment and forgot. Time ran out so I took the tubes and bottles and packed it away. Totally forgotten about. Over a year out of breastfeeding I listed the pump on my neighborhood site for $10.
That’s when the troll struck. We will call her Sally. After a lady commented that the pump I listed retailed for over $100 and that it was an awesome deal, Sally started in. Sally commented that all insurances issue mothers with an automatic breast pump and basically, I shouldn’t be selling it. I responded to Sally, thinking that maybe she was just under the wrong impression. “Actually, insurance companies are not required to issue an automatic breast pump. Even considered “good” insurance companies still issue manual pumps.” (I got a manual with my first baby and it was useless). That didn’t satisfy troll Sally. Sally came back again, she knew that all insurance companies issue automatic breast pumps, because she worked at an OB office and ordered them all day. Now Sally the troll was pissing me off, but I took the high road and responded that if she was interested in my breast pump please contact me. I even thanked her for her abundant knowledge. Ha Ha. You know this bitch wouldn’t stop. She continued to state that she had received two free breast pumps from her insurance, and was kind enough to pass one onto a friend in need. Wow aren’t you lucky Sal! How many of ya’ll have received two top notch breast pumps for free? This is the kind of woman I hate. That’s serious for me to say because I am a huge advocate for women. So here it is Sally:
You are dead wrong about insurance companies and breast pumps. I don’t know what kind of OB you work at but I’ve never heard of them ordering your pump for you. Furthermore, not all pumps are created equal. If insurance will only issue a shitty pump and a woman wants something else, she will buy it. Now she could pay $100 on Amazon like I did, or she could buy mine for $10. Guess what else Sally? Some women don’t have insurance! I guess they don’t deserve a breast pump. And lastly, why do you give a fuck what I do with my breast pump? I have the right to sell whatever I own. I suppose you are one of those women who like to tell other ladies what to do with their breasts as well. Working at an OB office must make you a damn expert on everything. I’m so glad we have you here in our neighborhood. With all of your upper-class knowledge, policing our Nextdoor site, serving justice, and protecting ladies from getting a good deal. Is it OK if I sell my baby swing Sally, or does insurance issue those as well? Will you attempt to shame me for selling a bottle rack? Probably, because you are a troll. Get a life Sally and get the hell of my posts!


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