Today’s post is going to be a little more serious than usual. Ready, put your serious face on kids.
I want to talk about “mom guilt”. Mom guilt; is that disgusting feeling that lurks in the pit of every good moms’ stomach anytime she thinks, does, or says something not revolving around her babies.
A few months ago, I read an article about singer, songwriter Adele. She almost didn’t move forward with her latest record because of “mom guilt”.
OK, ladies it has gone too far. I mean can you imagine life without Adele? Can you see her singing to her sweet little babe; (to the tune of “Hello”)
“Hello, it’s Mom”
“I was wondering if after all this time, you’d like to sleep”
“So that I may… finally rest”
“Or write a song for the world, they need me, I’m the best.”
“HELLO, can you hear me?”
“I’m in spit-up covered yoga pants, and a spit-up covered T”
“Holding baby. Silently. Careful not to move, even though, I have to pee.”
“I’ve forgotten what rested feels like, 2 hours’ sleep is now a treat”
“There’s such a difference between us”
“And a million hours”
“So Hello from the other side, of the crib
“I must have tried a thousand times,
“to get you to sleep”
“But when I try, you never seem to fall asleep, anymore”
If you not an Adele fan, you might not get that last part. Actually, if you’re not an Adele fan, just stop reading my blog. Just kidding. Back to the task at hand.
So pretty much every mom in every situation is suffering from “mom guilt”.
Working mom feels guilty for every missed milestone. Or God forbid, she actually loves her job and chooses to work. Scandalous, I know. What kind of a monster wouldn’t want to give up a career that makes her happy and pays bills?
Stay at home mom, who feels guilty about not teaching her child the entire alphabet in English, Spanish, and Scandinavian before they are 3. What the hell does she do all day? You should have a perfect house and look fabulous at all times. No excuse, you don’t actually work!
Married mom feels guilty for every un-necessary date night. I mean paying attention to your husband OR your kids, that’s a tough call. O wait, do you ever get to pay attention to yourself? Uh No, that’s selfish! Please be working on parenting or marriage 24/7!
Single mom feels guilty for ever wanting to go on a date again. How could you want to find love again? You need to concentrate on filing two parental roles, at all times. No time for your happiness hunny!
You get my point? And sarcasm right? We may all have guilt about different things, but we all have guilt.
I don’t really think there is any way to combat mom guilt, we will probably have it as long as we exist. However, maybe if we can identify and relate to each other better, we can ease our minds a bit.
Tell me about your “mom guilt”.
Mom who just ignored her kids for 30 minutes to write, (Guilty)
The gorgeous Adele on Harpers Bazaar.com
4 thoughts on “Mom Guilt…Yuck”
Oh, I totally have Mom guilt… all the damn time! At the end of the day I sometimes reflect back on all the times I should have given her my full attention but didn’t. I feel guilty when I am not entertaining her 100% of the time, but have to step back and understand that alone time is good. She needs her independence.
The worst is when I start getting frustration- either due to lack of sleep, extreme fussiness, or whatever it is.. I feel guilty for feeling frustrated. I can’t be happy and cheerful every.single.second can I? But then, it makes me feel like a bad mom because I am not appreciating every second with my girl. ahhh such a cycle 😦
It makes me feel a little less crazy knowing others feel the same way 🙂 and btw, love your lyrics to “Hello”!!
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Awww thank you so much !!!! We are our own worst critics !!!! I try to tell myself ” I need to fill my tank first ” . Like on an airplane , put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others. I have to be happy to make my kids happy , right ? But then I feel guilty anyway lol 😘. You are so right , kids do need independence!!! You doing a good job babe 😘😉
And also , thank you for sharing your ” mom guilt” !!!
Try making a brand from home…pfft. Ppl including your husband think you do nothing when in reality you work 50+ hours a week bc you are always either filling orders (which you are beyond grateful for of course), taking orders, bartering orders, doing everyone you know a favor bc they need something last second, marketing your products and in my case local classes so enough supplies for 15 ppl to make something with ease every half a month, working to create a vision for a wedding that gets called off, updating Etsy info, searching for the best deal on enamel paint, glasses, brushes, ribbon, htv, regular vinyl, glitter, packing supplies such as bubble wrap, tape, boxes, shipping labels, tape, ordering supplies constantly (for me glasses of 14 varieties that in bulk cost 3x the money you have from 1 month’s income) an income that nonetheless you can count on each month for your family of five but is $36,900 a year so you need to budget to bring in $12,000 as the second income.
Try filling an order of 7 wine glasses of which you have 5-7 days for a wedding on top of another wedding party who ordered at the same time so you have to skip your son’s baseball games and tell your daughters to watch another episode of my little pony bc mommy is working and doesn’t get a break ever life.
Working from home for yourself :
Pros: you don’t have to shower
Cons: all the shit I just said eventually including that you don’t have to shower
I love my family and my job! Hashtag mom guilt
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