Weird Shit Moms Say

Before I became a mother none of these phrases would have come out of my mouth. Well, maybe like one or two but definitely not one a regular basis. Now I say this shit every day, usually multiple times a day. Sometimes when I hear myself I think “what the fuck happened to my life?” I’m sure you moms and dads out there can relate. Here are my weirdest:

lol

Continue reading

The Battle of: HELL FLU

SS logo watermark.jpg

Could someone please tell me what is going on this year? My children are sick way more than they are healthy. It’s like the cold, cough, flu thing is never going to leave my house. I literally Lysol until almost rendered unconscious. What’s the point? Why don’t we just re-name “pre-school”, breeding ground for every mild disease known to man-kind?

Image result for zombie  cartoon

EVERY damn day it’s a new e-mail from the school nurse. Sometimes they come in multiple times a day. So basically, even when my kids are not sick, I’m paranoid by the next looming virus. Paranoia no more my friends. My nightmare has become reality.

Continue reading

5 Things Mom Lies About Daily

ARTWORK – Yes, I love it. Of course, I see exactly what it is. It’s wonderful, I’ll keep it forever. You are an amazing artist!

Truth is, with the exception of the uterus painting below, I’m usually very confused by my kid’s artwork. Yes, I love it, but like 50 paintings or color pages a week is too many too keep. I’m throwing most of it away once you go to sleep baby.

IMG_6250.JPG

Continue reading

Mom’s I just CAN’T with…

Here are a few mom’s I just can’t be friends with. I like meeting new people and I try to be kind to everyone. However, making “mom friends” is tough, even for the super social. I consider myself a “cut your losses” kind of lady. I approach a potential friend and say “Hi I’m Sarah, would you like to drink wine and bitch about our kids”? If the answer is no, that’s OK. I just like to know where I stand. Before I developed this intense screening process for potential friends, I met the ladies below. You may know some of these gals as well.

Image result for stepford wives

Continue reading

Who gives a shit about Decorative Pillows?

pillows

I just need to vent about a few things really quick. I’m sure some of you guys can relate and some of you have much bigger problems, so my apologies in advance.

-First of all, my almost 4-year-old has been in pre-school for a full month now. That means for an entire month at least one person in my house has been sick at all times. There has yet to be one day when I don’t get snot smeared on my shirt.

Continue reading

when you get knocked down-part 3

And we made it! Just that I didn’t have a breakdown is a miracle.

 ” developmental delay ” are the sweetest words I have ever heard.

Continue reading

when you get knocked down, part-2

So as I mentioned in

https://slightlysarahblog.com/2016/09/08/when-you-get-knocked-down-part-1/

 This is personal writing that I did not intend to share. So the letter below is a very raw piece I wrote to my child. I feel compelled to share all of this now because of the shadow and stigma attached to any child labeled “less than perfect”.

This is a piece I wrote for Eve the night before she had her “evaluation”. I write both girls letters on and off so they have them when they are older. I did not realize how scared I really was until I read this back to myself.

Continue reading