Today, I can breathe again.

For those of you who have not read our past stories, you can read them here.

when you get knocked down- part 1
when you get knocked down – part 2
when you get knocked down part 3

Developmental delays and speech delays are a real problem. Now that we are moving forward on our own journey, I hope to shed some light on this issue. If you are just joining our story, please understand that we know how fortunate we are in comparison to other parents and children on a path much more difficult than our own.  

eva

Hearing that your child is average is not something that throws most parents into happy tears.

A year ago, my husband and I left the “most” parents club.

It’s only been 15 months, but it feels like a lifetime ago. A lifetime ago when our daughter’s words stopped being a milestone and started being a celebration. A lifetime ago that we weren’t plagued everyday with the thought of our baby never being average.

I feel like the heaviest weight has been lifted off of our shoulders. My heart is so full with gratitude, and still so heavy for the parents who didn’t get the news we received today.

It’s like some flood gate of emotions has been opened. I can finally feel everything I wouldn’t let myself feel for so long. All of the disappointment and fear of thinking my daughter would never catch up. She would never do well in school. She would always be behind her peers. Watching her struggle to express herself. Watching her frustration take over and her confidence falter.

I promised myself I would never feel disappointed in her, or for her. I would never feel sad for her, or for us. I would never stop advocating for her. I would never stop looking for ways to help her.

We are so lucky to live in a world that is changing and evolving. Maybe even two years ago, Eva wouldn’t have gotten a diagnosis. Developmental delays, speech delays were not even a thing, let alone a mainstream. She might have slipped through the cracks.

Half of the tears I’ve cried today have been pure gratitude. Gratitude to our pediatrician for taking the time to see that something was wrong. Gratitude that we ended up at an amazing therapy center. Gratitude that we have health care, and the resources to supplement what our insurance fell short on. Even in my happiness, My heart pangs with guilt. Our daughter was so lucky, we are so lucky. So many children and parents don’t have the resources, or were not given the proper diagnosis. Trust me, I have an entire crusade here, but today is not for that.

Today, we are going to celebrate Eva. Today, we are going to cry all of our tears. The happy, the sad, the relief, and the guilt. Today our daughter is average, and average never looked so good.

eva 2

xoxo,

Sarah

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